Marvin X on Polygamy and Polyandry

POLYGAMY

Polygamy is for rich men who can maintain more than one woman. But it is not only financial but mental and spiritual as well. If you cannot practice equality--and the Qur’an said you cannot--then don’t even try it. For even the rich man dealing with the North American African woman can be overwhelming. This is because we have in the North American African man and woman two of the most hard headed humans God ever created.

The Negro (aka North American African) was actually created by the devil, and only through the process of decolonization can he begin to heal and achieve spiritual maturity to have successful relationships. He must work on himself until he reaches a certain level of spirituality, then he can have one wife and after time, consider another wife.

But two hard headed Negroes can’t go around the corner. Although, two people of spiritual consciousness can go to the sky, especially if they come together in truth.

If you want more than one woman, consider the cultural reality of a monogamous society, consider the mental trauma of your woman who has never heard of such a lifestyle. She only knows of Nigguhs having another woman or baby’s mamas. She knows about men lying and sneaking around for years, making babies and keeping it secret, sometimes until his funeral when all the women and children appear, some naturally demanding inheritance rights.

What about doing things in the name of truth. If you want peace rather than pure hell in your life, have agreement between you and your first wife. And make sure she and the second wife can get along in harmony. No need to set yourself up for hell. If the women don’t like each other don’t force them to be together--rather, find her or better yet, let her find a co-wife she can get along with, that she respects and who respects her.

You don’t want two or more women who don’t like each other, for one reason they will infect the children with negativity, jealousy and envy. This can do permanent damage for years to everyone involved, especially the children.

The Other Woman (from In the Name of Love)

Yes, I’m his other woman.

The invisible woman.

I love him

Just as much as she loves him

Maybe more

Cause I don’t know how much she loves him, anyway.

But I love him too!

She got papers on him

But papers don’t mean a damn thing to me

All I want is justice.

Nobody wants more than justice

And nobody wants less than justice

I want equality too.

I want equal time.

I told him to set up a schedule

And keep it.

I told him to be man enough

To tell his other woman

“Say, look, you are my woman

And she is my woman

I love both of you

It’s time we work together.”

He says he told her

He says he’s trying to break her in

Finessefully

I’m trying to be patient

Cause I ain’t going nowhere

Ain’t nowhere to go.

I’m sticking with my black man, my African man.

I been with this man off and on for 15 years

How long she been with him

What she know bout the man?

She damn sho don’t know much as I know

That’s the only reason I put up with him

Cause I know him so well.

But we should work together

Since we have the same interests and everything

Since we have so much in common

Don’t have me hating my sister

Don’t have my sister hating me

I’m bout progress

I’m willing to share him

Not because I just want to share somebody

But it just ain’t no men

You get with these men and they turn out to be punks.

Now what woman wants a punk?

Punk lookin for the same thing I’m looking for.

You know that’s a shame

So we lucky to have half a man these days

This must be the end of the world!

So like I say, I’m willing to share

We be sharing anyway

Tell the truth sisters

Your man is probably my man too!

Everything he do with you, to you and for you

He does with me, to me and for me

Let’s work together

Let’s help our men to be men

Especially those who want to be men.

That’s all I got to say.

Confession of a Polygamist

Yes, I have two wives

That’s right

Two mother-in-laws too!

Ain’t that a bitch!

And my wives love me

Even in my terribleness

They love me

Even though they hate each other

They love me

I just wish all that energy

They spend hating each other

I wish they would help me fight the devil

Help me make some money

I mean, I try to bring them in harmony

But what can you do with this

North American African woman?

All that ignorance, selfishness, possessiveness

They want you to lie and sneak around the alley

Well, I ain’t lying and I ain’t sneaking

You can call me nigguh, black, African, whatever

But I’m a man and I chart my course

I’m not following nobody’s agenda but mine

If these women want to get in harmony with me, fine

If they don’t, fine

But I’m not sneaking around like a dog

The Christian way is not my way.

To hell with monogamy!

One man one woman

That’s bullshit!

Now you tell me

What man only got one woman?

Does a man have one suit?

So many of our women don’t have no man

Now what if ten women were on an island

With one man

What would they do?

They would share him

Whether they liked it or not

And sister gonna have to do the same thing

Women don’t care if you married these days

They like it better if you are married

That’s what they’re lookin for

A married man!

But my hands are full

Two of these North American African women

Are enough for me

But women are so aggressive these days

They’ll rape you! That’s right

Sometimes I feel like the fireman

I go from house to house

Dashing flames, extinguishing passions and fears

There is no rest for me

Fire is everywhere.

Eternal Woman

I know the pain

Of love and hate

The happy hours

The long debates

Wanting to run

Wanting to stay

The lover’s kiss

And then to miss

The point of me

Rushing pass

To the point of you.

Eternal Man

What did you say?

Eternal Woman

You heard what I said.

Why didn’t you come home last night?

Eternal Man

Don’t be asking me why I didn’t come home. Matter of fact, don’t ask me shit. I’m a free man. I come and go as I please.

Eternal Woman

I’m tired of your shit.

Eternal Man (slaps her to floor)

Shut up bitch!

Confession of a Wife Beater

I beat her because she loved me

I beat her

Gouged my fingers into her eyes

Stomped her on the floor

Because she loved my dirty drawers

I beat her

Put my hands on her throat and squeezed

Until her eyes looked like marbles

I beat her

Because she loved me

Because she gave me a child

That looked just like me

I beat her

Because I stood trembling

Watching the child ooze from her womb

I beat her

Because she wouldn’t give me some pussy

I tore her panties off and took the pussy

I beat her

Then said to her, “Baby, I love you so much.

You’re so precious to me, let me kiss you.”

And she let me

Then I beat her for letting me

Because I was drunk

Too much rum

I beat her

Too much weed

I beat her

Too much coke

I beat her

My you are so precious to me

I beat her

My I love you so much baby

I beat her

Because she was faithful

Because she was patient

I beat her

While my child stood terrified

I beat her

Kicked her

Sat on her

Punched her in the mouth

In my madness

Because she said the wrong word

Because she said nothing

Because she said the right word

Because she said too many words

Because she had a thought

Independent of mine

I beat her

Knocked her too the floor

Because she called the police

I beat her

How could she call the white man on me

As Black as I was

I beat her

Because she called her mama

I beat her

Because she called the operator

I beat her

Because she picked up the telephone

I beat her

Because she left me and I found her hiding in the closet

I beat her because I took her to Mexico and she wasn’t happy

I beat her because I took her to New York

And she didn’t smile

I beat her

Because I was sick

And she told me so.

I beat her.

Eternal Woman

I shot him

Because he loved me

He loved me so much he came home smelling

Like his other bitch’s pussy

I shot him

I didn’t kill him

But I shot him

Because I got the phone bill

And saw he’d called his other bitch

On my birthday

I shot him

Cause I got papers on him

Yeah, I got papers on the motherfucker

To use his filthy language

I shot him

And I ain’t sharing him with nobody

I don’t care what the Muslims say

But a nigguh can have four wives

I don’t care what the Holy Qur’an say

I don’t care bout the African tradition of polygamy

I don’t care how many mo women it is for every man

I shot him

I don’t care if women are turning lesbian and bisexual

Cause they don’t want no man

I want my man. I love my man

But I shot him!

from Selected Poems, Marvin X, 1979, and In The Name of Love, Marvin X, Laney College Theatre production, 1981.

POLYANDRY

And what about polyandry or women with more than one man? Can you deal with that Mr. Big Time? If you truly love her you will deal with it as many men have throughout time. And you will be happy about it because love is a powerful force, a humbling force.

I’ve been the other man on more than one occasion in my life. One time I was in love with a prostitute who had a million men. And when she came home I was happy as a puppy dog. From the beginning she let me know she was a ho, so what part of ho didn’t I understand?

Since I loved her I finally accepted her as she was and stopped trying to act like she was my woman (see The Maid, The Ho, the Cook, In the Crazy House Called America).

My prostitute was beautiful, intelligent and took care of me on time, everyday, which was why I loved her most of all, she was on time, she woke me up and put me to sleep, somebody better get a healing up in here.

So one can deal with more than one woman or more than one man, just be honest and truthful, to hell with lying and sneaking around like a dog. Sooner or later all things will be revealed and then someone is hurt. It is not good to hurt people because it will come back on you--every dog has his/her day.

In one of the current songs, the girl sings, “I’m a murderer. I know I’m hurting him. I might as well put a gun to his head….” She was sneaking around. So let’s get out the garbage can.

We’ll be quite lucky to deal successfully with one partner. And how can you want two when you haven’t mastered one? Now there are some people who can’t deal with one person at a time, so they think, they must have more than one. Whatever works for you, go for it. Just make sur everybody’s happy and don’t spread disease. Don’t be a murderer, physically or spiritually.

--Marvin X

from Mythology of Pussy and Dick, toward Healthy Psychosocial Sexuality, Marvin X, Black Bird Press, Berkeley, 2010, approximately 400 pages, $49.95. Order from the publisher: Black Bird Press, 1222 Dwight Way, Berkeley CA 94702. jmarvinx@yahoo.com. Available for speaking and reading.