Monday, September 6, 2010
Foreword: Mythology of Pussy and Dick, toward Healthy Psychosocial Sexuality
Sexuality is determined by biology and social psychology. In the socialization of humans, mythology plays a critical role in manhood and womanhood training rites. Mythology lies in the deep structure of the mental process, yet mythical notions, stories, tales, ideas, values are clearly present in the surface structure of human behavior. Ritual behavior is simply the enactment of mythology, the stories of the tribe, the values, mores, manners, morals. Myths prescribe the acceptable and the forbidden , the sacred and the profane.
Of course the Shaman often transcends tribal mythology to extend the narrative, take it to a higher level, much like a Coltrane solo, or a Miles Davis tune, connected to the past but very much into the present and future, the unknown, into the space of fear and dread, and yet it is beautiful, if we go there with Trane, Miles, Dolphy. So mythology must be fluid, dynamic. There comes a time when old myths must be discarded, thrown into the dustbin of history. And so it is with the patriarchy or myth of male domination.
In the patriarchal or male dominated society, men are taught they own women, that women are their personal property or chattel real, as opposed to real estate, i.e., land, buildings. Isn't it ironic that a people who are descendants of chattel slaves would continue in the tradition upon liberation, that they would perpetuate relationship slavery, i.e., marriage, girlfriend, boyfriend.
I don't want to own nobody and surely don't want anyone to own me. Imagine, the other day a brother said, "My pussy is at home!" We tried to tell him, first of all, he doesn't have a pussy, his woman has a pussy, so his pussy ain't at home. And imagine when he arrives home and "his pussy" is gone. When he locates "his pussy" will he be happy, sad, angry, violent, for why wasn't his pussy at home, why did it leave, or does it have the right to leave? Maybe the sister was with her friends, telling them, "Damn, ya'll, I got to go home to give that nigguh some pussy." They reply, "Girl, you ain't gotta do that, that's yo pussy, girl!"
In this atmosphere, women can be verbally, emotionally and physically abused. They can be beaten and killed for violating the man's so-called ownership of their bodies, minds and souls.
Clearly, there is absolutely no difference in a woman stoned to death in a Muslim society and shot to death in a Christian society because of her supposed adultery and/or infidelity. Of course, these days women are shooting the men to death for their freedom of expression or socalled sexual transgressions.
The man is more often than not afforded hero status in Muslim and Christian society for executing "honor killings" because he was disrespected by "his" woman. These days women are exercising their right to retaliate on the man for his indiscretions since marriage myths and rites suggest ownership by both parties, though man has the ultimate authority in the patriarchal society.
Women are now attending court mandated anger management classes and receiving convictions for assault and or homicide in the killing of their mates, all in the name of love. Tina asked what does love have to do with it? I ask, what kind of love is this--and if this is love I don't want it!
If we are to move toward healthy psychosocial sexuality, we must examine the myths we live by. We may discover these myths are toxic, reactionary and detrimental to our psychosocial health. We may need to transform and radicalize these myths/rituals in the light of modernity and post modernity or the new millennium.
In the present era of spiritual consciousness, we cannot behave as cave men and women. We cannot continue rearing little cave children whose behavior befits the Stone Age, bereft of compassion, willing to kill at the drop of a hat because someone dissed them, especially their girlfriend who gave up "her pussy" to a friend or stranger.
We must jump out of the box of ignorance, jealousy, envy, religiosity, narrow mindedness, insecurity and the world of make believe. We do not own other human beings. This is called slavery by any word. Partners, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, must dispel and discard mythical notions of ownership and domination.
Our bodies are the temple of God, not the property of another. No attachments but to God! We are slaves or servants of God, Abdullah (we are all Abdullah, the servant of God). This is the attitude of radical spiritual consciousness. No one owns us but God. Our life and death are for God. We are thus free to do as we will since we exist in God and God exists in us. We are indivisible from God, thus we are God, we are Divine. Man is divine, woman is divine. We are equal beings in the temple of God and the temple of God is the universe, and all in creation is of God, by God and for God.
If you desire to surrender yourself to your beloved, this is your rite/right. In love, it is indeed all for the beloved, love is the annihilation of self for the beloved. Yes, we lose our "self" in the beloved. In my play One Day in the Life, Karima says, "I sacrificed everything for you, but you blew it buddy, I'm through with you!"
We pray you shall do the will of God in your relationships. If you don't, no one can judge you but God, especially the God in you or the self accusing spirit! Certainly, no one has the right to beat or kill you, stone you to death, shoot you in the head. Nor does anyone have the right to verbally or emotionally abuse you because of your behavior that may, from time to time, cross the line of propriety. And as per sexual transgressions, pussy and dick ain't nothing but a muscle, so why are you tripping over flesh, a muscle?
Your pussy belongs to you, your dick belongs to you and you alone. It is attached to you, not your boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, husband, wife, lover, trick! Human beings are subject to do anything during the course of a day, and you are free to do so. Vows of fidelity must be thrown into the dustbin of history, along with Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the return of a dead man after two thousand years.
If you persist in your wretchedness, ignorance and world of make believe that you own someone's pussy and dick, your mental health shall suffer along with the general condition of society that is rapidly heading to the precipice as we write. The mental hospitals, prisons and jails shall remain full of those partner abusers guilty of assault and/or homicide.
We urge you to free yourself from the prison of your mind based on primitive mythological notions of ownership and domination. Indeed, love the one ya wit, but you don't own them. You can't force them to do anything.
Why can't we just get along, Rodney King asked? Why can't we love and be loved in return? Why must we be ugly to each other, especially in the name of love? Why can't we love without the negativity? Why must we hurt the one we love, and yet, as Dr. Nathan Hare says, there can be no master without one willing to be the slave. Just as I cannot love you unless you allow me to love you, I cannot hurt you unless you allow me to hurt you.
Love begins with self love. If and when you don't love yourself, you cannot love someone else. You can fake the funk for a time. But if you don't know yourself, you cannot know your partner and mate. You can be with them twenty, thirty and forty years, but you don't know them. This is why couples break up after ten, twenty, thirty years together. They never knew each other, they were faking the funk, but the funk caught up with them. Yes, there was abuse because in their ignorance they first abused themselves, then abused their mate or partner simply because they never followed their own bliss or purpose as Joseph Campbell taught us. Nancy Wilson said, "I Never Been To Me!"
Indeed, life is about getting to the real you, your mission and purpose. When you cannot achieve this, in your frustration, you are bound to oppress and dominate your mate and those you love. Sadly, you have been programmed by the American or Western mythology of Christianity and Capitalism. You are thus the man and woman in the box. You may deny you are in the box, yet your very existence , and clearly your behavior with your mate is evidence you are inside the box of Christianity and Capitalism. In short, you are a slave, albeit a free slave, but a slave none the less. In turn, you desire to enslave your mate and children--Capitalism has programmed you to desire cheap trinkets, things and more things, conspicuous consumption, materialism, the world of make believe.
Yet with all your materialism, you have not followed your bliss, you are totally devoid of spiritual consciousness. You may be religious, yet your practice of religion is a desire for prosperity that would be alien to Mary's baby! You do not desire to liberate the captives, help the poor, the broken hearted, the hungry, the homeless. You are arrogant and wicked wearing your rocks, animal skins and plastic clothes. Yet you are not happy, nor is your mate. Even your children are little assholes, ungrateful bastards!
You hide the pain by medicating yourself with drugs, sex, video and internet games, religiosity and other escapism from your life of nothingness and dread.
We pray one day you shall awaken and throw off the chains on your brain, throw off the oppressive mythology of Christianity and Capitalism, or any other oppressive religion, including Islam, or any ideology that promotes pie in the sky or other worldism, escapism from facing reality with a radical agenda that is about seizing power from the blood suckers of the poor, the global bandits who promote the world of make believe.
How can you be at peace with yourself and your mate while you enjoy the benefits of a society that spends a trillion dollars per year to commit mass murder around the world to perpetuate a world of make believe, to keep people deaf, dumb and blind, consuming trinkets that send them directly to Yacoub's workers: the doctor, nurse and undertaker.
It is this mythological psychosocial order that has you drunk with thinking you must own and oppress somebody, especially those you supposedly love and cherish. Jump out of the box--free yourself, your mate and your children. Strive toward a radical spirituality that oppresses no one, but frees everyone. Love should not be slavery. Free your mind, free your mate, free humanity.